Signs that You're Getting Old

We live in such a youth-centered culture that it is very hard to get old. Something happened this week that made me question if I’m getting old too. And then my eye doctor said ‘it’s only *** years till you turn 40. Then is all falls apart.’ Lovely man.

So here a funny list of ‘Signs that You’re Getting Old’ which I collected from several sources:

1. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

2. You watch the Weather Channel.
3. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
4. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
5. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
6. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
7. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

8. The music that was popular while you were growing up is suddenly being played on the "Classic Rock" station.

9. You sit down to breakfast and hear "Snap, Crackle, and Pop"....and you haven't even poured milk on your cereal yet.

10. Lawn care has become a pretty BIG part of your life.

11. You need glasses to find your glasses.

12. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
13. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
14. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. The kids you used to babysit have their own kids and you’re pretty sure it’s only been a few years since they were wearing diapers.

19. You remember being horrified when your ‘ancient’ parents turned 40, and never thought it would happen to you.

20. You’d rather people forget it’s your birthday so you can pretend another one hasn’t come and gone.

Have anymore to add??

The Dreaded, Evil Synopsis

I’ve always hated the idea of the synopsis, and I know I'm not alone. To most authors it is the equivalent of a four-letter word. However, I have to admit that while investing quite a lot of time recently studying up on it that I’ve learned to like it. Shh! Don’t tell. Part of the reason is because when you take the time to write the synopsis it gives you the opportunity to really evaluate your novel or story and make sure it has value and that it is indeed ready for submission.

So let’s get to it. Let me share with you the research I’ve put together on writing the synopsis.*

A synopsis is a summary of your book in it’s entirety. It’s an overview of plot, characters, and conflict. Its style is a preview of coming attractions—characters, dramatic moments, and plot.

I. Content—the Seven parts to a synopsis:

1. Theme

The theme pulls the entire book together. Sometimes you don’t even know what the theme is until you’re ready to write the synopsis. But identifying that theme really is a selling factor for your novel.

2. Setting the Period

When you start off the synopsis set the scene and let the reader know the place and time period if that is revelant.

3. Plot summary

This is the heart of the synopsis. It includes the beginning, middle and end. Don’t forget the END! Introduce the problem, the conflict and the resolution. Provide the inciting incident (beginning), effort to reach the goal (middle), and climax—success or failure (the end). The plot must spring from your characters not events.

4. Character Sketches

Show that your story is character driven (Although it would be near impossible to write a romance that wasn’t character driven—wouldn’t it?) Take a paragraph to describe your character—his past, his motivations, what drives him and makes him unique, his flaws. Include major players in the story—protagonists and antagonists. Omit subplot characters. Name only 4-5 characters—tops. The rest give role names within the summary. Things like friend, mother-in-law, policeman, clerk, etc. In a long novel with many characters it may be necessary to include a character list with basic roles to be referred to through the plot synopsis.

5. Dialogue

Use dialogue sparingly in the synopsis. It slows down pace and takes up space. In a synopsis, every word must be efficient. However, well chosen bits of dialogue lend flavor to the bland voice of summary.

6. Emotional Turning Points

Every novelist knows that it’s the small scenes that move the plot forward. You can’t include all those scenes in the synopsis. The big scenes, on the other hand, those emotional turning points, should be included. The climax is the final turning point along with a statement regarding how your protagonist ultimately changes by books end.

7. Subplots

You won’t be able to include every subplot in the synopsis. But if there is an important subplot (especially if it connects to the main plot) make sure to include it.

Notes: Open with a problem and what’s at stake—set the stage. Introduce your protagonist with a hint at inner problems and conflict before going into the plot summary.

Have fun! No really, try to have fun with it. Make yours stand out from the crowd and a sense of humor just might do the trick.

Next time the style of the synopsis.

*Most of the information I’ve put together on writing the synopsis comes from The Sell Your Novel Tool Kit by Elizabeth Lyon. It’s a great resource and I recommended it highly.

White Rose Chat at LASR

I'd like to encourage everyone to come to a book chat at Long and Short Romance Review's yahoo loop with the White Roses in Bloom blog group. We are authors of sweet and Inspirational romance and would love to have you join us. We'll be introducing our September contest which you will not want to miss.

When: Saturday, September 5th
Where: LSAR --http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LongAndShortRomanceReviews/
Time: All Day Long!